Next week I will be starting my 8th week of college. It has been a very challenging time for me. But through it all I have learned a lot about myself. For some reason as a child I had accepted the fact that I was not smart. Actually I was told by several people that I was stupid. So, in school, I did not try to do over and beyond average. I was a C, D sometimes B student. B was in Homemaking. I liked school and it was very interesting to me at times but I never pushed myself to do better than what I was doing. It doesn't matter who or what started my negative thinking. What matters here is that I no longer think like that. I refuse to think like that because I have proved to myself and others that I am very smart. I am not trying to be "puffed up" or anything. I am just stating a fact that I have learned and hopefully if people read this, they will learn from it.
It feels like I have become a new person. I am now very confident in my academic abilities. I have realized that studying really does pay off. When you think that you are not catching on to what you are being taught, study. Find what works for you. If you have to write, type and say something out loud a hundred times to get an "A" then do it.It is an amazing feeling, a sense of accomplishment to study so hard and ace a test.
In the past weeks, I have also realized that I am in the right place. I have never been so sure about being in God's will. It doesn't matter to me anymore that it took awhile to come to this realization, it only matters that I am here. It even feels like my relationship with God has changed and He has opened my eyes to see Him differently too. He has taught me so much about faith. He has taught me that I don't have to live under the umbrella of lies and excuses that I, myself have been holding over my head. He has taught me that changing from that "comfortable" place in my life is good and humbling. He has shown me that it is ok to say "I can't do this". Finally, He has shown me that if you get thirsty enough, you will find the well of water and dip your own drink instead of waiting for others to do it for you.
glad u have gotten some self confidence in your abilities. remember to pass that on to the kids too-they can accomplish great things if they apply themselves to it and try . nothing is more sad than people who won't reach for the stars because they don't think they can. keep it up and go for it, hopefully your kiddos will see good things come out of it and notice a change in you too, and they will benefit from it as well :)
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